I tried calling the Apple Store on Walnut Street in Philadelphia to authorize a repair. I got the machine. The Apple Store automated answering machine attempts to interpret spoken requests. However, the Apple Store automated answering machine doesn't clue you in on the phrases it actually understands until well after you have become exasperated with it and gotten onto yelling into the phone. For the record, the Apple Store automated answering machine does not recognize the phrase, "authorize repair," nor does it understand, "I hate you people so much." Well, perhaps it does but won't let on.
After much frustration and verbal abuse on my part, the Apple Store automated answering machine remained resolute in its refusal to let me through to anyone at the actual Apple Store. The best I could get was routed to the phone-based tech support service, which isn't based in the store and doesn't handle physical repairs. The tech support guy told me to say, "Operator, operator," into the phone, which to his credit did substantially reduce the time it took the Apple Store automated answering machine to send me to a dead-end. On one occasion the Apple Store automated answering machine even went so far as to curtly dismiss me and hang up.
I finally did get through to someone at the shop by telling the Apple Store automated answering machine, “I want to buy something very expensive.” This put me right through to a guy in sales. He seemed a little confused and perhaps a smidge annoyed, but he promptly forwarded me to the repair department all the same. The woman from the repair department was very charming, helpful, competent, and had a pretty voice too. She was not at all reminiscent of the Apple Store automated answering machine.In summation, I would like to ask the good folks in the sentiment monitoring department to recommend the relevant Apple executives give the girl in the repairs department a nice bonus this year. Perhaps even a raise. Also, if possible, please locate the voice actor for the Apple Store automated answering machine and punch him in the nose for me.